May 26, 2012

Question from

Who do you trust with your biggest secrets?


I guess the first thing I’d have to decide is, do I have any ‘big’ secrets?  I suppose everyone has secrets.  Like the saying, “… one man’s food is another man’s poison…”, you may tell one person one thing, and choose not to tell another.

Why?  Relationship.  Personally, I feel more comfortable talking about certain issues or problems or feelings with my best friend, and yet, I wouldn’t feel comfortable or feel it is appropriate, to share these issues with  say, a colleague.

We all have secrets when it comes to our work.  Even between co-workers, there is some information that needs to be shared, while other information does not.  Is it a secret?  Perhaps.  Information for the most part, is shared on a ‘need to know’ basis.  In some cases, this information may be personal, business-related, security-related, and therefore, only those that need to know, will know.

In our social circles, those that we go for drinks with, go on trips with, go to night market with…  How much information do we share with these people?  I suppose again, it depends on the relationship.  If these people are close friends, we may disclose information that may be a bit more personal.  However, if they are people we only occasionally see, the information would be less forthcoming.

Family.  Now there’s a tough one for some people.  Just how much information do we really share with our families?

For me, and I don’t mind admitting this, I have been so out of touch with my family for so long, that not only do I not share a lot of information with them, they don’t share with me either.  Recently, an issue in my family was not shared with me.  It wasn’t until I read a message that was posted on FaceBook, that I found out.  I suppose again, this is due to distance, and not a ‘need to know’ situation.

I do think though, everyone has one very close friend.  This person knows as much about you as you do.  Even then, they are not privy to everything, but enough that they qualify as a very close friend.

My close friend is half a world away.  We have been friends for over 25 years, and if anyone knows anything about me, it is him.  If you’ve read my blog over the years, you may have an idea who that is.  Although I have no problem talking to Gary about anything, there are still some ‘secrets’ that he will never know about.

Some secrets we keep to ourselves because the information may be too personal, or embarrassing.  I don’t really care who you are, where you grew up, your religion, relationship status, marital status – we all have secrets.

Who we choose to share these secrets with, depends a lot on who the person is, and what they mean to us personally.  Some people over time, prove themselves to be ‘loyal’ to you.  That is, when told something, they keep it to themselves.  Others, tend to be big mouths.  You can’t trust them to any information.  For me, these people tend to drift out of my circle of friends.

Then again, there are some people in my life, who’ve had to be privy to some of my ‘secret’ information.  It’s not so much secret, as it is, personal.  I only trust that, even though these individuals are not close friends, I do expect and appreciate, that the information they do have, they will keep to themselves.  Again, this information is not something that I want everyone to know, but out of necessity, I’ve had to trust that they will respect my privacy.

So in response to the original question, I have a few people in my life, who I tell my secrets to.  Depending on the information, this will dictate to me, who gets or needs this information.

I’ve learned over the years, not to trust everyone with everything.  As much as I would like to share everything, this is not an ideal world.  I do not live in a fictitious land where everyone respects and keeps private information, private.

That’s it, that’s all… for now!


1 Comment

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One response to “May 26, 2012

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