August 18, 2010


Another in the ‘Sentence Series’…

I make a good friend because…

Well, this is quite an egotistical statement, don’t you agree? I think this type of statement should be made by someone else, not yourself.

I think that anything that one would have to say in regards to this beginning statement, would be reflective… that is, why one would say that they make a good friend, is what THEY want in a friend, correct?

Well, here goes. Why do I make a good friend, or better yet, what do I seek in a friend.

1. Listener
I think that anyone who is a good friend or makes a good friend, would have to be a good listener. There are many things that go on in our daily lives, that we just need someone to listen. Not necessarily to give an opinion, but to be an ear.

Just like when we are sad, and we need a shoulder to cry on, we need someone that can listen and offer support. Someone who can both agree and disagree with me. That may sound contradictory, but sometimes the best listener can point out where you are correct and where you can be wrong.

2. Non-judgmental
Sometimes, and more often than not, we all make stupid mistakes. Some are big problems, while others may only be simple. However, mistakes are made by everyone – I don’t care who you are.

A good friend will not judge you by these mistakes. They may not support the mistake, but at the same time, they will oversee these indiscretions. A person who can deal with and forgive these mistakes, is someone that you want to keep.

3. Someone who can make decisions
A good friend can help and oftentimes make decisions. Whether it be where to go for dinner, or what cologne smells good. Having someone who can make a decision is conducive to being a friend.

However, this decision-making must also be a give-and-take. This person has to not only know when to be the ‘decision-maker’, but the ‘decision-taker’. And you can’t be a ‘baby’ about it when the decision is not what you want. As well, you can’t always have your own way. Any friendship (aka relationship), is a balance of give-and-take.

4. Conversationalist
Part of being a ‘conversationalist’, is not only being a good listener, but being a good talker. Being a good friend involves talking. Taking an interest in your friend’s topics, as well as being able to discuss your own topics.

Being a friend means being able to talk about anything. This could be anything from favourite colour to worse nightmare. Sharing these conversations brings you and your friend closer together.

***

Not everyone in your life can be your best friend. Not everyone can be your friend. There are always going to be those that you just can’t seem to see eye-to-eye on anything.

I think that I am a good friend. Some of my past acquaintances may think otherwise, but I think if they look at it rationally, they will see that I was a good friend.

I talk to people. I enjoy talking. Rarely, do I have NOTHING to say. I think that when it comes to my friends, I show an interest in their lives and what they do. Okay, so I may talk about my life as well, but again, isn’t that what being a friend is about? Being able to talk about YOUR and your FRIEND’s lives?

When possible, I will support my friend as much as I can, whether it be to make a decision about an article of clothing, or lending a bit of cash. Lending money may, in some cases, be the end of a relationship. There is an old saying, “Neither a borrower or lender be.” I don’t agree with this.

I think that if you are able to trust your friend as much as they trust you, being the lender or borrower should not make a difference in your friendship. When lending, do not make concessions. The way I look at it, if I can help you out, and you want to spend it on jellybeans, as long as you pay me back, then I have no say in how you use that money.

Ditto the same back. As long as being the borrower, I give you back what I borrowed, you have no say in how I use that cash. Too often, friendships have ended due to cash. If this is a problem for you, then the, “Neither a lender or borrower be,” should be your own rule.

I also think that since I have been through a lot over my lifetime, I don’t have a problem with what my friend(s) may be going through. I am definitely not the epitome of a perfect person, I can be a good listener, non-judgmental, and offer an opinion, if that is what my friend needs.

Looking over this sentence again, I would recommend to anyone, look at what YOU want in a friend, and be that person. What you want in a friend, should be what you should BE as a friend.

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