May 3, 2010


There is someone for everyone!

HA! I don’t believe it. Yes, for some people, maybe. However, I believe that this isn’t true for everyone. Otherwise, we’d all have husbands, wives, or partners. Why is it that some people are still single. Why is it that there are people who pass away without ever having a ‘someone’ in their life. Bachelors or spinsters. This is what we call these people.

Here I go again. This is going to be one of these blogs where I will hear a lot of comments. So be it. These are my thoughts, my opinions, and well, my beliefs.

Part II

My neighbour, who I started talking about in yesterday’s blog, is an idiot. An outright, egotistical, stupid, bitchy, divorced, man-hating, idiotic woman!

Ever since she moved in (early, I might add) next door, she hasn’t liked me. I don’t know why. I tried to say hello to her several times, in English and Chinese. I’ve never done anything TO her. I have done things that seem to upset her beyond reason. Take feeding the stray (street) cats. For some reason, this got her so upset, that she had to call the equivalent of the Humane Society in Tainan, to have the cats removed from the neighbourhood. She even went so far as to tell my landlords that it was against the law to feed them, filmed me feeding them, and then tried to take me to court?! Is she insane?

I looked it up on the internet. There is no law in Taiwan that says you cannot feed stray animals. Otherwise, the jails would be full of violators. I can take you on a quick trip of Tainan, and show you at least a dozen people, foreigners and LOCALS who feed, not only street cats, but street dogs and birds as well! I wish she had looked up this little piece of LAW before she called my landlords.

Now, she’s on a rampage about a few leaves that have fallen off my plants from the roof.

When she moved in, I made it very clear to Angela (the owner of the house), to my landlords, and to the parents of both, that if this new neighbour wished to use the rooftop deck, or the barbeque, she was more than welcome to. Oh no. That would mean that she would have to ‘befriend’ someone!

Because of her daughter’s ‘violent reaction’ to cats, I agreed to block off her section of the balcony so that my cats would have NO WAY to get near her home. However, I did leave an area open, as a courtesy, that would allow her and her children to use the roof if they so desired.

Yesterday morning, I go out to do my laundry. I notice that she has placed a barrier across the area where there used to be a half-wall separation. It had to be removed for the staircase to the roof, and also allow access for Angela and her family. She apparently, doesn’t appreciate nice neighbours, or is a vampire. Why? She has a problem with me. I don’t know what it is, and she doesn’t want to say.

She called the 10 or 15 stray leaves, cat shit. Okay, some people, no, MOST people in Taiwan do not like cats. I don’t know why. The only reason I’ve been told, is that the sound a cat makes, sounds like a child. Okay, big deal. A cat’s meow sounds like a baby. What’s the problem. If this were the medieval times, I might get the idea that cat’s are the devil’s pet. That was the thinking, am I not right? Cats were believed to be creatures from the Underworld.

If that is true, then why did Cleopatra admire cats? Why did the Egyptians idolize them? What are there nearly as many cat lovers as dog lovers in the world? Is that to say that cat lovers are devil worshipers?

Back to idiot woman. I replaced this ‘barrier’ to its storage position. I wasn’t going to say anything, and if anything was said to me, I was going to say that, “I thought the wind blew it down, so I put it back…” I go back to my office on the third floor. Not a minute later, I hear the banging and sliding of doors, from what seemed like, my 4th floor. I go back upstairs, and here is idiot woman pulling the barrier back down. Also, she has swept the leaves into a little pile. Whatever…

I start asking her what the problem is? She looks at me, with weird eyes, and says, “No English.” I say, “Bullshit, you speak English very well, since I hear you speak to parents of your illegal bushiban.” She stares at me. “No English.” Right, I then get a little pissed and tell her, “You are a stupid, little woman.” Suddenly, well, her English improved about 1000%! She understood every single word I said from that point on, and spoke to me in English.

Her stupid dog is barking like mad. Pissing all over the balcony at the same time, then runs into the house. She yells something at her ‘violently allergic’ child, and the kids go screaming out of the house, and next door to Angela. At the same time, I’m trying to call my landlords to get their butts over to the house so we can find out, once and for all, what the f*** the problem is!

Angela arrives. The idiotic woman and her start talking, and, with my little bit of Chinese, I sort of understand what she’s talking about, but I would still like Angela or her to speak in MY language, since this IS all about me and the horrendous, terrible, earth-shattering, things I have done in the past months to royally piss her off! Neither of them will talk to me in English. Angela does speak English, and so does idiot woman.

My landlords arrive. Then, it’s a four-way conversation in Chinese… no English. I look at Daniel, and he says, “Okay.” OKAY WHAT?? I didn’t understand anything, and no one is talking TO ME!

My big thing above all else, is TALK TO ME! I have four other people standing around me chatting in their native tongue, and they all know how to speak MY language, show me a little respect, since this is, apparently, all about me!

I was given a little more info about this idiotic woman. She is divorced. Well, that explains A LOT! I’m sorry, but I have a problem with divorced women. Yes, I know many, especially from Canada. And, there are two types of divorced women. There are those, that are thankful to be out of the marriage. For whatever reason (abuse, married too young, ???), they are just thankful that they are no longer married. But these women, I get along with famously. Why? Because they don’t blame EVERYTHING on the male population of the planet!

Even if they were in an abusive situation, they can still see that NOT ALL MEN are assholes! I agree. There are some men that are out and… I don’t know what to call them. Pigs, shitheads, assholes, mother-f******, egotists, woman-haters… whatever term you can think of, yes, there are men on this planet that, in my opinion, should not exist.

Married too young? Well, what can I say about that. It’s takes two! In the beginning, you both saw something in each other, otherwise you wouldn’t have gotten married. No one forces another to do something they don’t want to do. And, if you do, well, you’re the idiot – sorry!

Anyway, these woman are the woman who realize that not all men are scum. There are some decent guys on the planet. They just happened upon the wrong guy.

Then there are women like the idiot next door. She feels or thinks that just because HER relationship didn’t work out, that all men are scum – for lack of a better word! They feel that EVERY single man is only after HER for one thing – to screw her over in more ways than one!!

Look sweetheart! Not all guys are interested in you, or women in general!! Not all guys will find you attractive. I certainly don’t, but I’m not looking for a wife! Besides, with an attitude like yours, I wouldn’t even go near you anyway – now that I know you!

These women have a chip on their shoulders. Okay, so their ex is an idiot. Or maybe, he’s just smart! Maybe he realized that SHE is the one that is the one to stay away from! Not all women are great people. We may like to think that all women are calm, cool, collected, thinking, desirable, beautiful creatures. Let me tell you folks – for every pig of a man out there, there is a cow of a woman!

Anyway. It seemed that yesterday, things were going to be worked out. Angela is going to have a wall built so that this idiot woman doesn’t have to see daylight. NO problem. I could give to shits less!

Today, I’m doing some work at my computer. Suddenly, I hear a loud and terrifying bang of metal! I go running upstairs, just in time, to see this idiot woman closing her door to her balcony. She looks at me with a sneer, turns her head away, and struts away like a diva-wanna-be. She has just pushed over the temporary partition on the balcony – the partition that has been up for two months, with no problems, to keep her dog out of my space, and my cats out of hers!

You know, we could have been great neighbours. She is running a bushiban, illegal as it may be. I am a foreign English teacher. My roommate Sias, is a foreign English teacher. The three of us could have helped each other out! But not now. She has royally f***** all that up herself!

And it all started over the fact, she doesn’t like cats!

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